It’s hard to remember a time when my parents weren’t divorced. Since I was four, my brother and I split our time at our two houses, shuttling back and forth every weekend. And since I was four, I’ve known a different normal. Normal, for me, is three seats at the dinner table. It’s Mondays with my dad and Thursdays with my mom. Normal comes, like animals to the ark, in twos: two houses, two bikes, two Christmases. And although the word divorce doesn’t necessarily bring thoughts of rainbows and butterflies, it does bring light to some of life’s most valuable lessons.

Independence. It is so important to understand that you do not need anyone’s help. You can do what you need to do on your own, and do it well. I’m not sure if it was my dad’s dedication to learning how to untangle a kindergartner’s hair or my mom’s valor in killing cockroaches, but somewhere in my childhood they gave me some of the best examples of independence. They both work to give my brother and me an education, a house to live in and food to eat, among the many other things. They support themselves and are happy doing it. Every day they teach me that I don’t need to rely on anyone but myself for my own happiness, and that, my friends, is very important.

Responsibility. I learned responsibility at its finest because of my parents’ divorce. I have two rooms, and therefore I have to keep both of them clean, which is nearly impossible. My clothes are scattered between my two houses, so I’ve learned to keep the staples, spirit skirt and moccasins, in my car. I know that if I forget my retainer at my mom’s house, my dad isn’t going to drive me back to get it. It’s taught me to prepare myself for tomorrow and, on top of that, how I’m an fantastic packer.

Differences. My mom and dad both have different parenting styles. My dad is the kind of dad who hates elbows on the table, while my mom really doesn’t care. They give me different curfews, different chores and different schedules. I’ve learned that there is a time and place for everything. Both of my parents have different ways of raising me, but that doesn’t mean they can’t work together to be my parents.

Yes, I don’t belong in a picture-perfect family, but I don’t view that as a bad thing. Experiences shape people, and my parents’ divorce has made a significant impact on my life. It’s taught me so much about the world, myself and making the most of any situation.