Endless cheese
A guy’s take on “Endless Love”
Photo: Illustration by Miriam Brown
When I was asked to write a review on the film “Endless Love,” my expectations were low, but I was optimistic that maybe, just maybe, the film would surprise me. Unfortunately, my optimism was met with 1 hour and 44 minutes of scenes so painfully awkward that I had to look away from the screen and cover my ears to make the experience bearable.
“Endless Love” follows the classic storyline of a rich girl who falls in love with a guy from the wrong side of the tracks and thinks that her overprotective parents are going to be cool with it. The girl, Jade, played by Gabriella Wilde, falls in love with David, played by Alex Pettyfer, who, despite having had a crush on her for years, has never talked to her and dates other girls in the school. This seemed strange to me.
All of a sudden, he helps her pick up a book that she dropped outside of her daddy’s country club, and she asks him to sign her yearbook. At this point, I had an urge to do literally anything other than watch this movie. However, I assumed that it could not get much worse, so I fought my urge and continued to watch as the two fell madly in love over the next five days.
They end up falling so madly in love that Jade even throws away an internship that, according to her controlling father, would have gotten her into medical school.
It is during this scene that my favorite line in the whole movie is said, and it is wildly offensive. The father says disappointedly to his daughter, “Of all the reasons to throw away something you worked so hard for…a boy?” I paused the movie and laughed at the irony. The father, who is a male, tells his daughter that liking a boy is the worst reason to give something up. He is talking about his own gender in such a negative light that it perplexed me.
After taking a good, long, hard look at myself in the mirror, I resumed the movie and continued to watch. Let me tell you that Jade and David did not disappoint.
Jade’s father continues to ruin his daughter’s budding relationship, but as much of a pain as he was, I cannot really blame him. It turns out that our little friend David has a rap sheet, and Jade’s father and I could not have been more excited about it. Now, he can tell his daughter how bad of a guy David is in hopes that she will leave him (Spoiler: he was wrong). I thought maybe the movie would be over at this point (Spoiler: I was wrong, too).
The plot gets more twisted, but in the end, the viewer can assume that Jade and David will live happily ever after, and things will be great. However, I am not satisfied.
They seem to only have had a thing for a little more than seven days if you add up their time together from the beginning to the end of the movie. However, she has to go to college at the end of the summer, and David is definitely not going to fit in at Brown. Jade’s father continues to loathe David and has a restraining order against him, so technically David should be tried in a court of law.
Most likely, David and Jade’s romance will not last longer than another few days, but hey, let us turn our cheeks and cheer for the young lovers!
I could talk about how poor of a movie this was and is all day, but who wants to read that? If you have made it this far, keep reading, as I may say something positive. Guys are going to think “Endless Love” is dumb, but girls may be able to take something away from it.
In the words of the great romancer Frank Sinatra, “The world will always welcome lovers as time goes by.” It is true: people do love love.
